May Day

Last night, for the first time In months I took the long way home. The sun had finally come out, the temps warmed to the 60’s and everything was bursting with green.  The Peeper frogs were in full chorus in the standing water, so loud and joyous.

The potholes and frost heaves have subsided and my drive up the hills was pleasant as the road was mostly smooth. I pulled over at the top of the hill. My favorite spot to take a deep breath. Three mountains poked up around me and the fields were greening up nicely.  Sometimes I see deer there, browsing the ancient apple orchard, always a turkey or two and once, a mountain lion slunk across the road, majestic and so awe-inspiring I couldn’t remove my gaze to grab my camera. Tonight I was alone.

Mount Monadnock to my right…snow is finally gone

Crotched Mountain behind me…

Pack Monadnock to my left…life is good here!

Wilson and his Mom dropped in. We had our first glass of wine on the deck, cheese and sausage took up a minor role and the sun gave us warmth and a colorful display as it sunk slowly. As it cooled, we wrapped Mary in a blanket. She was more frail than the last time we were together. Wilson is infinitely patient and attentive; the same could be said of Mary with him. Aging is a hard thing.

I joked with Mary. She has a dog named Martha. I have a dear friend who’s name is Alice and I have a dog named Alice. Somehow, we saw the circuitous route that life takes. I watched as she fights the fog from the drugs the medical world has decided she needs. Her mind is not befuddled enough to not notice that it is somewhat muddled. How much of this is because of modern medicine and how much is dementia is unknown, but I have my own thoughts on it.

I’ve been known, here in my youth-of-middle age, to make dumb mistakes. I undercharged a customer by $10 the other day. I was talking and not wearing my glasses no doubt, and hit the wrong keys. When I balanced my drawer I realized exactly what that strange charge was. She called today. “We were chatting away and neither of us noticed you undercharged me $10!” I explained I had already taken care of it and to count it as an early Mother’s Day gift. She was pleased and accepted my bumble with grace. No doubt she will be back and will make right on the transaction by buying more than she budgeted. Life is like that…

I know that as the largest population of aging citizens ever seen on this earth, we are all struggling to redefine how age and death occur. I hope we are able to leave worthy lessons to those who come after. I think, “What will life look like when I’m 80?” I couldn’t imagine what life  would be like when I was 50 back when I was 20. I find I’m attracted to Dean Martin, Louis Armstrong and crooners from my parent’s era. Is this a good sign?

“The best is yet to come and babe won’t it be fine… baby your gonna fly!”