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Leap of Faith

Isn’t all of life after the age of twenty a giant leap of faith? I set that as the age where I had moved on from my childhood pinnacles of learning to drive, graduating high school, spending less and less time being a daughter/sister/child and being responsible for my actions.

Leap into marriage then divorce. Leap around the country and then the globe. Marry and leap into having children. Always expecting the net will be there if needed; or there is something better just around the corner.

Leap into divorce again and seek the solitude you think will fulfill you. Each leap increases the faith in yourself that this will be fine. With no more knowledge than you possessed when you became a mother and thought you knew what that meant, you leap again. If you had any sort of plan, it was just to note these occasions in life and journal your deepest emotions. Having a prescription for soothing those inevitable negative thoughts shores up your faith.

Some Journal quotes from this day in my history:

March 21, 2015

It is officially Spring. There is light. The days are stretching like a cat after a nap and I find myself content. There is good music and dinner cooking.

Instead of fighting the frost heaves life hands me each day, I think I will look at it as a slalom course.

March 21, 2008

We are writing a story as we live our lives. If you ceased to be, today – right now, would you feel you’d wasted time or spent it foolishly? Would you harbor regrets or smile and calmly accept what an incredible journey it had been? Today I accept. I have done my best to the best of my knowledge; I’ve such fine memories to prove it.

March 21, 1983

Oh grief and pain, guilt and sorrow. An abortion is like sex; once you have lost your virginity, it the knowledge of that innocence is lost for all time forward. I function, mechanically and seek shelter in the wrong places for my wounded emotions…

It is the first day of Spring 2016. I am compelled to step back and observe what the last 40 years of this day of renewal brought. As I leap again…

 

14 comments on “Leap of Faith

  1. “Salalom course” Perfect comparison in so many ways. Not all the Olympic skiers grab the gold, but all are winners at the end of the day. Yes, let’s leap

    1. It is, after all, a Leap Year!

  2. Touring NH says:

    Getting out of bed is sometimes a leap, but I do it every day. Always continue to believe, you haven’t failed yourself yet!

    1. Exactly! Haven’t seen a bad day yet I didn’t manage to get through!

  3. Leap is the perfect word for I have done in life, also. I find that it isn’t always the best way to face life, but it is me. Thanks for clarifying.

    1. There are those of us who leap and others who dip a toe in the water…

  4. The unknown is always a scary place but as we look back we usually find that it was relatively easy to negotiate.

  5. Yes, as a relatively adventurous type, but settled into the marriage and family, now in my mid-life, a leap of faith is just the phrase that describes moving out of a comfy zone back to inspiring and passionate life!

    1. Thank you stacyfeliciano. Glad this caught your eye. While comfy can be inspiring, leaping is definitely all about passion.

  6. Marie Keates says:

    I think I have stumbled rather than leapt but I guess it all ends the same way, going into the unknown.

    1. We all have to stub our toe a few times to remind us to pick up our feet and march on…

    2. We all have to stub a toe once in a while to help us remember to pick up our feet and march on, Marie. Thank you.

  7. mpolatchek says:

    Leaping into faith every day as I get up, work on my website, practice my music and follow the stupid election.

    Mel Polatchek

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