Inalienable Truths

There are certain, undeniable truths I have learned in my life so far. I suspect these will resonate with others, sometimes we just need  reminding.

Just when I think I have a plan for myself and I am checking off the boxes, a windstorm will erupt and blow all those blue-prints astray. I frantically try to gather back the pieces and am consumed with fury at having my intention disrupted. Until, I realize the plan is flawed, and this is life’s way of showing me which parts are the important ones on which to focus.

These are my truths:

I will allow those I love the most to hurt me the hardest, because I opened my heart the widest to them. Rather than shut them out, I will take the sting and revel in my pain; an alternative doesn’t exist.

I will always write. We each have an outlet for self-expression. For some it’s music, poetry, dance, or quilt-making. Opening the door and baring your soul to the world through creativity is nourishment for the soul.

I surround myself with beauty; be it flowers culled from the garden, art, food, music, life better and richer because if it. Bring it inside, bring it into your life.

Like the “Cobbler’s kids going barefoot,” I will take care of those around me before realizing I must take care of myself to have anything left to give.

I learn to like myself more and more the older I get. I forgive myself for my small failings and refuse to focus on “would’ve, should’ve, could’ve.”

Death awaits us all. How you face it is your choice. In hospice there are definite stages one goes through in dying. The “restless stage” is where a person is not really aware but exhibits signs of reaching for something, they are in their own world but not ready to let go of this world. They have something to resolve or set to rest in their mind. It is not an easy stage to witness because you are on the outside and unable to cross over to understand.

The term “actively dying” best describes the stage where a person has found peace and is letting go as their bodily functions shut down.  At this point a person is somewhere between here and the here-after. There is much solace to be gained in the understanding of death by being with someone in this stage. They exhibit incredible strength and peace.

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3 thoughts on “Inalienable Truths

  1. Thanks, as always, Martha, for your words. You captured my recent experience with my Dad’s passing and how difficult it was to watch those final stages. Yet, especially during this time, hospice was wonderful in educating us as to what was happening – taking some of the fear and helplessness out of the process and, by doing so, not only kept my Dad peaceful, but as as well. Hospice personnel are truly a unique and wonderful bunch of folks that, for many, their value to not only the patient, but the patient’s entire world of family and friends, is not even known but is immense.

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