Dreams

I had two startlingly nightmarish dreams this morning. In the most vivid, I looked out into my front yard and saw three people in running clothes jogging up my drive and across my lawn. Just as I thought how strange it was, more and more people ran into view. The next thing I knew the house was surrounded. I went to my bedroom to get my gun and found children at makeshift tables painting and coloring and spreading colors everywhere while making a mess of my sanctuary. My hands closed around the shotgun which then shrank into a revolver. “Dear lord, I don’t even know how to load this thing,” I thought. When I pointed it to the ceiling to fire a warning shot, nothing happened and wires spewed out when I cracked it open.

More people were crowding in the doors and I felt crushed by the throng as I pushed from room to room. I awoke feeling drained and powerless.

Yet life at the moment is completely within my power. I can honestly say, leaving my domain and working for XX numbers a day (yes, I meant to leave the XX in that sentence) is such a joy. The balance for me of hours being The Vinegar Lady and hours being me here, in my carefully constructed universe of home, pets and hearth is fragile but so comforting.

July is upon us. The celebration that brings me the most anxiety, (did I mention I absolutely, positively hate fireworks??) will commence shortly but I will hide away on my mountainside and only have to endure the brief rowdiness of my distant neighbors for a matter of hours. The birds and the creatures of the night will all bed down with me and wait for the human foibles to be over and peace to once again reign.

Happy Birthday to Wilson’s Mom who will turn 86 of the Fourth. Happy Birthday to America, where I have chosen, over all other countries where I’ve lived, to be at this stage of my journey. And can we please be done with the noise and fireworks now??