My latest battle with the critters on the backside of my mountain involves a massive porcupine. I’ve drawn the ‘porcupine‘ card before in this poker game and the results were humorous if not terribly fruitful. Critter warfare is becoming a recurring theme in my posts.
Porcupines, for those who don’t have them as neighbors, are slow, wood eating beasts. They can destroy a deck in a matter of a week’s worth of feasting; young trees near said deck are also a delicacy. They are the armadillos of the north with barbs.
Photo Credit: http://img-aws.ehowcdn.com/600x600p/photos.demandstudios.com/getty/article/178/201/87690257.jpg
In the past I have resorted to wasp spray to deter them. Side note: it doubles as burglar deterrent with its handy 20 foot range of goo. This time I decided to consult the experts so I Googled “how to get rid of porcupines.” There are three ways;
- Fencing ( seriously? the whole 7 acres???)
- Trapping (Yeah, not my style. Where would I then take the critter?)
- Chemical deterrents (like mouse poison but admittedly not very effective)
This grumpy relative of a hedgehog lurking around my back deck seems drawn by the blackberries; a thick bramble grows on the rocky slope. He or She is every bit as large as Alice; I’m guessing 50 pounds of stupid prickliness. I haven’t managed to get a shot (literally and photographically) of her/him but trust me, I know critters and this is a big one. When ‘frightened’ which takes a lot of noise and commotion, she/he will lumber up the nearest tree, quills waving and nasty toenails scratching loudly. This is a pissed off being under the best of circumstances, a real kill joy.
In my googling (now a verb) I found many fascinating facts including the following which would the a relationship ending trait in my world:
Like getting a little poke would be the worst thing that could happen?
Therapeutic Misadventures 
We’ve had a few porcupines in the yard over the years. They really seems to like the apple tree. I’ve watched them feast on the fermented apples on the ground. Luckily Diesel has only tangled with one once. Sounds like in their world, flattening down their quills equates to safe sex!
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Thanks Laura. Safe sex with a disgusting ending but interesting to the observer. I wonder if they get drunk on the apples?
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I’ve seen them stagger. And I’ve heard of other animals getting snockered from fermented apples.
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We have been battling critters this year too! So far we have skunks, rabbits, ground hogs, deer, chipmunks, moles and rats! The neighbors have free range chickens and we get the rats! So far no porcupines!
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I guess I will take grumpy porcupines over rats. But your lovely river front home makes up for the critters, Annie!
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If you decide to go the live trap route, I hear pumpkin is a choice bait.
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Why thank you allthoughtswork! Pumpkin sounds like a good choice but they won’t be in season for another month or so. I wonder how far away I would have to ‘relocate’ the beast?!
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Well, there’s always corn.
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Ouch! – and I moan about ants! Best of luck…!
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Thanks Cheryl. I have ants too but they are the least of my problems!
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I never imagined porcupines ate decks! We had raccoons wrecking havoc in Virginia. I’m sure porcupines live around here but hope never to see one eating my deck! Horrors! I’d rather have a mischievous raccoon any day.
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Thanks Annie. They also will eat the tires on you car!
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Yikes!
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Who knew porcupines were so big and ate wood? The biggest critter to invade my garden is next door’s cat or the odd fox, neither of which do much damage (although a fox did once steal one of CJ’s trainers from the doorstep). Ants are definitely our worst pest, I’m sure my house is built on an ant hill, and they get into everything and dig up plants.
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Ants can be really distructive too. I love the idea that you have a resident fox!
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