Relationship Status: It’s Complicated…

And there really was a moment this morning when I thought he might be dead wand I kicked myself for thinking, “Damn! I should have borrowed the leaf blower and who’s going to get that tractor out of my yard now??!!”

Uncharitable, I know, but you have to understand my relationship with Wilson. We are both Gemini and have no tolerance or patience with the Sun Sign traits we least adore about ourselves that are rampant in each other. I am tidy and organized, he leaves tools everywhere and can never find anything. He doesn’t find it tedious to cut wood, mow the lawn, blow leaves or move snow. He loves machines, I love peace and quiet. I can’t reach things, he is tall. He eats out all the time and I cook but hate to eat alone. We last about 6 hours before I’m wiping up after him and he’s thinking I’m being overbearing (Moi??!)

No doubt you are wondering why I thought Wilson was dead, and regretting the leaf blower comment?

I heard the phone as I turned off the shower but I’ll be damned if I will run to answer it; it is a convenience I pay for not a master. There were two missed calls from Wilson’s brother-in-law’s number. It took me a minute to decipher this information as I am not intimate with Wilson’s family. The Massachusetts exchange and the first name, were my only clues. I dialed Wilson’s home first. No answer and he doesn’t know how to retrieve messages so leaving voicemail is pointless. Next I robo-dialed the brother-in-law. In my mind, Wilson had gasped his last breath in a desperate phone call to his sister saying, “Call Martha, she’s closer.” At which point said sister and brother-in-law  jumped in their car, racing to his deathbed. I told Alice her walk was postponed, jumped in my car and flew down the street to Wilson’s cabin. His truck and car in the yard. “Well, shit that means the body is inside. I hope Slinky, (his dog,) was fed recently.” I got out hollering his name. You don’t want to sneak up on Wilson, he has an artillery.

“Shut up Slinky!!” he bellowed as he backed out of the  door. Then he jumped when he saw me – the cause of Slinky’s ruckus. OK so he wasn’t dead. He had gone to check his sister’s house as they were away, placed a couple of calls to me from there and headed back to his own house. And there was still time to borrow the leaf blower and get him to change that lightbulb in the garage…

Wilson’s home:


My home:


To each his own…

13 thoughts on “Relationship Status: It’s Complicated…

  1. It’s funny, (odd, not haha) we always think the worst. One day, my dad’s neighbor called. My heart sank, just knowing my dad was gone. I still get teary thinking about it. Turns out, like in your case, everything was fine, just a bit of miscommunication. ALL relationships are complicated, no matter your astrological sign. Don’t worry, I have you covered with the leaf blower!

  2. Oh dear i know which one my house looks like! But aged parents not answering phones when they should be there, oh dear I become the aged parent! (although I do remember being roundly told off by an under 18 year old who stated she had been up so late worrying about what on earth had happened to us!!)

  3. HA! That’s the first post in a long while that made me laugh out loud! Very nicely written. And if I had a house, it would look more like yours. Tidy, clean. And I would like a Wilson to run the machines even though I can.

  4. Oh dear! Phone calls like that always make us think the worst. Thankfully, this time it wasn’t anything to worry about. I think I’d rather live in your house but I love the mad dilapidation of Wilson’s place. If it was left to me that’s what our house would look like but Commando keeps it spick and span.

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