It’s a six year. The five years are always monumental; I was born in a five year – 1955. This means I’m currently facing a funk of unproductive naval-gazing. I’m stepping off a ledge to find new ways up, (or down first if that is the direction required.) I have no doubt in my ability to maneuver the steps, just questions about the turns in the path.
So this is me at a juncture, creatively and emotionally, where I sit back and my small, quiet voice asks “What if you threw all the cards in the air once again?” There are parts of life that will be stable and predictable. I will get up and walk Alice regardless of the weather and she will dance when I sing the “Doggie Doggie Dinner” song, even at breakfast. Because the truth is, dinner or breakfast – eating is joy. I will cook for those I love. A simple stew of 16 beans and ham went from dinner just for me one night, to lunch at my elderly friend’s farm and dinner for Wilson. I have a small portion frozen for when I can face eating it again. New faces and routines may replace daily practices as I slip into the new year.
I will write. This has been a very dry spell, a point where I looked at what I had written for yesterday’s post and thought, “Really? You should just call this What I Got For Christmas! and bury it!!” I am churning through the pages of my virtual journal but nothing seems cohesive enough to unleash on the word. Best I scale back and give some careful thought to my goals. Is it to garner “followers” and stats or to create a thought that touches someone else?
The first real snow storm of the season has me holed up in my clean and reorganized office. Staring out the window, seeking inspiration in the silent drifts and frantic birds at the feeder, I set aside the nagging thoughts of potential failure. There is no defeat in trying.
I have this week off and a to-do list beckoning me to cross things off, but like Terri and James I may add a few tasks I accomplished, then instantly cross them off as well. Some habits are universal.
From my small corner to all who have been patient, kind and supportive of me over the last twelve months; I wish us all peaceful, creative days in this new year. Watch for the twists in the path and love those who bring you comfort.