Last night I had dinner with a friend from my SeaChange days. She is an avid kayaker, sailor, traveler and motorcycle rider. We did the usual catching up then found ourselves in a conversation about family, women and aging. I know that sounds like heavy stuff but that’s the “back cover blurb” of how it went. The conversation turned to sisters. She has a younger sister, the same difference in age as mine is to me. They are best friends. After many years of struggling and not speaking, so are my sister and I.
Zanne is leaving the Lake after 21 days that actually felt like just a week. We are both in radically different lives than one year ago. Through the fall and winter we accomplished a most difficult reconciliation in the midst of our joint unemployment. We dug down deep into who we were and what we wanted; both from each other and from ourselves, going forward. We stopped judging each other and ourselves.
Here we were, again facing demons and dragons from the past with an emotional piece of real estate, the Lake cottage thrown in for good measure. As we sat on the front steps, looking out over the clouds drifting over the far side of the lake, with the rain softly pattering down, a loon sang out a lonely call. There is no fixing everything all at once. Fixing is a slow process just like breaking a relationship takes subtle steps. I felt a weight lift, I breathed out, and I forgave myself for expecting more than this miracle.